I'm not trying to be mean. Really, I'm not. But I just had to retell my morning's experience in a Dr's office. I went to see an OB/GYN in hopes to have an ultrasound of this critter in my womb. I was filled to the brim with water so as to have a full stomach (as they always tell you over the phone before you go to get an ultrasound in late pregnancy)...which is really just cruel and painful punishment at this stage. The medical assistant (MA) called my name and I went to the back of the office with her.
MA: "Here is a cup. Pea in it and bring it back to me."
Me: "I'm hoping to have an ultrasound today. Wouldn't the DR want a full bladder? Maybe I should do this after the ultrasound?"
MA: "That is ridiculous. You don't need a full bladder."
Me: "Are you SURE I should pee NOW in this cup?"
I should break now to tell you about a similar experience when I was carrying Riley. I was told to drink 32 oz. of water 45 minutes before the ultrasound. The woman on the phone told me that if I didn't have enough water in me, they would make me come back another day. Fast forward three years and I've already driven an hour to be at this DR's office, waited my turn to be called. The last thing I want is to lay on my back, uncomfortably, and have the Dr say, "Didn't they tell you to drink before you came in here?" Anyway......
MA: (now visibly annoyed with me) "What, are you pregnant?"
Me: (self esteem in the tubes-- can she really not tell?) I motion with my eyes for her to take a good look at me. (all the while thinking-- are you really asking me this question? this practice is called "New Beginnings" after all...only pregnant women come here.)
MA: Just do it.
I pee in the cup...and give it to her. She takes me to another room and sits me down to take my blood pressure, weigh me (ugh!), and ask me a million questions.
MA: How many live children do you have?
MA: Date of birth and gender?
Me: August 19th, 2005 and male
MA: What hospital did you deliver him at?
Me: He was born at home (a thrill of "I-AM-WOMAN-HEAR-ME-ROAR" pride goes through me)
MA: Vaginal or Cesarean?
Me: (thinking-- did she really just ask me that?)
Can you imagine? A complete surgical procedure done by two midwives on the floor of my bedroom! Wow-- now that is something to think about.
Sorry to leave you hanging. Yes, I did get the ultrasound after all. I never mentioned my empty bladder to the DR, not wanting her to turn me away. And she never made any comments about it either...so it ended up just fine. Am I crazy girls or what? Aren't you supposed to have a full bladder before the ultrasound? Enough about that...the funniest part to me was her asking me if my home birth was vaginal or cesarean. I should have said cesarean. If I had, I bet she wouldn't have even noticed.
The ultrasound was quick and to the point. It was actually disappointingly short. She measured the femur and looked for four chambers in the heart, two kidneys, the umbilical cord insertion, etc. In the end she printed out one abstract picture of the head. Not the cute face, but the head...as in top down.
Turns out we have a 3 lb, 11oz bean inside. She said her guess is the baby will be a 8 pounder. She was amazed at the size of Riley (now and at birth- he was 8 lbs 14oz...not HUGE, but big enough) and said she didn't know how I did it. (Me: thinking...just like every other woman in the world, one push at a time...)
I have another appointment in two weeks for a more thorough ultrasound on a more high tech machine. I'm looking forward to that. I just have to remember for them NOT to tell me the gender.